


Starless Sky

by Valgus



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguity, Angst, Drabble, Drama, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 21:32:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6771007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valgus/pseuds/Valgus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama squeezed his eyes closed, but he kept seeing Hinata swung alone in the park at night, looking up at starless dark sky, thinking about his one-sided love, about the person he had to give up, and how painful that would be for the strong-willed Hinata.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starless Sky

One Friday night, Kageyama was out to buy breakfast for the next morning. When he passed the dimly lit street around his neighbourhoods, he crossed the park—the one with sandbox and swings—in order to reach home faster. But before he stepped into the park, he saw Hinata sitting on a swing.

The smaller boy had bid him goodbye about half an hour ago, in front of Coach Ukai’s shop, and then pedalled away from Kageyama and the rest of the team. So what did he do now, still sticking around in town instead of going back to his house in the mountain? It was getting late too. Kageyama grunted, imagining flu Hinata might catch if he were staying outside at night, and stepped forward.

He thought he was stomping with all his might towards Hinata on the swing, but Hinata didn’t even blink. His fingers curled around the swing’s chain, near his shoulders. He looked up, his face was half-lit by the distance street lamp, and he made a small sad smile Kageyama had never seen before. Kageyama didn’t know Hinata could make such face. What sort of problem this simpleton of middle blocker might have? Kageyama had no idea.

“Oi, Hinata,” grumbled Kageyama.

Hinata jolted, almost toppled down from the swing, but then he saw Kageyama and laughed, “Ah, it’s just you, Kageyama. You surprised me. Eh? What are you doing here?” Hinata eyed the grocery bag by Kageyama’s right hand. “Ah, you were shopping? So your house is around here, huh…”

Hinata spoke like usual, but Kageyama squinted his eyes as he stared at the orange haired boy.

“Yeah, my house is around here,” Kageyama placed his grocery bag on the ground and joined Hinata on the other swing, the one next to Hinata. He swung a little and coughed. “You’re not going home,” he mumbled, glancing at Hinata.

Hinata nodded, once and slow, “Yeah. Sorry. I was thinking about something.”

Kageyama had no idea why Hinata apologised, so he kept swinging gently and murmuring, “Really? You’re thinking about something?”

Hinata didn’t answer. He looked up again with that unusual smile on his face.

“Are you perhaps thinking about your lousy receive?” muttered Kageyama.

Hinata’s eyes, much to Kageyama’s relief, turned to Kageyama’s face and the brown-eyed boy had laughed at that, “Ha! That’s a good one. You’re right, though, I’m still lousy at receiving.” Once his laughter died down, Hinata shook his head, like shaking something off, “But, no, I’m not thinking about that.”

Kageyama opened his mouth, truly wondering what sort of thing Hinata might be thinking about that he lost track of time and chose not to go home immediately after tiring practice. But Hinata was faster.

“Well, you better go home, then, Kageyama,” he swung a little. His face looked slightly otherworldly when it was dimly lit like this. “It’s getting late, I think.”

Kageyama frowned, “What about you?”

“Me?”

“Aren’t you going to go home?”

“Oh? Me? Yes, I will. Soon. Don’t worry.”

But Kageyama did worry. “Hinata.”

“Yes?”

“I-I, uh…” the setter coughed. “I know that I-I’m not good with relationship and friend stuffs, but, uh, if you had a problem, the one I can help you with, I-I’ll definitely help you with it.”

Hinata froze. He stopped swinging. He looked at Kageyama’s face—and it grew hotter and hotter every second—before he let out a loud laugh. Hinata’s laughter shook the swing he sat at and even though Kageyama heard laughter, Hinata’s face looked like he wanted to cry, somehow.

“Kageyama, you’re nice,” said Hinata when he stopped laughing, his voice croaky from laughing. “But, um, I don’t think you can help me with this.”

Kageyama growled, “Are you underestimating me? Why don’t you just tell me what’s your problem is, Dumbass? Goddammit!”

Hinata chuckled a little at that. He looked away, then. Kageyama was ready to make Hinata spilled his secret worry, but then Hinata looked back at Kageyama once again. His brown eyes were watery. Perhaps Kageyama didn’t really imagine the tears he heard on Hinata’s laughter.

“Okay,” Hinata breathed, his voice low and throaty. “I think I’ll tell you.”

Kageyama froze himself, nodded once, and looked at Hinata, giving the shorter boy all his attention.

Hinata sighed, “I think I have a crush.”

Kageyama stopped breathing.

Hinata blushed and made forced chuckles, “I know, right? It’s so stupid. I shouldn’t have, even though so many teenagers our age have. It doesn’t improve my volleyball skill or anything, but I can’t help it, you know?” Then Hinata stared at Kageyama, blinked, and looked away.

Kageyama couldn’t swallow. For a millisecond, he thought that Hinata would ask whether Kageyama ever had any crush. They didn’t say anything for a while, not until Kageyama coughed, “So… aren’t you going to confess, Hinata?”

Hinata’s eyes turned wide upon Kageyama’s words. But then he chuckled again, “Confess, huh? I think that’s one way to deal with it.”

“Y-yes,” Kageyama nodded, something moved in his stomach. “I mean, I guess that’s w-what people usually do when they like someone. C-confess and then dating, right?”

Kageyama wondered whether he got this whole romantic relationship right. Now that he thought about it, he had no idea why he wanted Hinata’s love to work out so badly. Probably because depressed Hinata would be a disaster for the team. But then the image of Hinata smiling sadly as he swung alone flashed on his mind and Kageyama didn’t want Hinata to make such tortured smile.

Hinata chuckled again. He chuckled so much and so forced that night. “I don’t think so, Kageyama.”

Kageyama raised his eyebrows, “No? Why not?”

Hinata clasped his fingers against the swing’s chains once again, looking up to the dark sky without stars. “Because it’s useless.”

Kageyama looked at Hinata, not saying a word.

“I know that person,” Hinata made a small smile to invisible person on the sky. “So I know my crush is one-sided. I have no intention to confess—there’s no point to.”

Kageyama could feel how his lower jaw fell. So Hinata could have this sort of problem, couldn’t he? Kageyama tried to understand Hinata’s feeling. What did he like the most? It’s volleyball. Then if volleyball didn’t like him back—if his team refused to play with him…

_Don’t think about that._

“Kageyama?” Hinata’s voice startled him.

Kageyama blinked, returning his gaze at Hinata, “Yes?”

“You’re sweating. You look a little pale too. Don’t you think you should go home?” Hinata pursed his lips a little—a gesture he usually did when he was worried.

Kageyama huffed and grabbed his grocery bag, “You’re right.”

Hinata still sat unmoved on his swing.

Kageyama glanced down at the boy in black Karasuno jacket and sighed, “It’s getting really late, Hinata. Do you want to stay over? It’s Saturday tomorrow, anyway.”

Hinata blinked at Kageyama, “Really? You don’t mind? I’ve never been in your house before, though.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama nodded.

“Okay. I’ll message my mother first.”

And as Kageyama looked down to Hinata typing on his phone, still sitting on the swing, he recognised the way Hinata’s orange hair stick to various direction. It was a dark shade of brown on dim place like this park at night. Kageyama gazed at Hinata’s face, scrunched in concentration of typing message, then his pale skin, his collarbone, down to his canvas bag and slightly too big Converse shoes.  
  
So Hinata could actually think about something outside volleyball. So Hinata actually had a crush. So Hinata actually loved someone—someone he probably treasure so much that Hinata preferred that person to be happy, than Hinata being happy with them.

_I have no intention to confess—there’s no point to._

And here Kageyama thought Hinata was always happy and full of spirit. Now he realised why Hinata looked so weird to him. It was because Kageyama never saw this side of Hinata before.

“Okay! I finished messaging my mother, Kageyama. Let’s go.”

"Right."

They walked into Kageyama’s house in silence.

*)*

After dinner and bath—Hinata ate the curry without saying much and Kageyama couldn’t find anything to say and ended up feeling like horrible person to his guest—Hinata helped Kageyama setting an extra guest futon beside Kageyama’s bed. There was no way the two of them could be crammed together into a single bed, though Kageyama was sure they could try. It wouldn’t be comfortable, though, the setter noted, so he smoothed the guest futon for Hinata and got him a fresh, new pillow.

“Ah, I’m beat,” moaned Hinata, flopping down to his futon. Kageyama still knelt beside it and he reached down to ruffle Hinata’s hair.

Hinata froze and looked up at Kageyama.

Kageyama was suddenly very aware on the way his hand became very sweaty but cold among Hinata’s hair.

Hinata, however, chuckled. “Are you trying to make me feel better, Kageyama?”

“Oh, um…” fidgeted Kageyama, slowly pulling back his hand from Hinata’s hair.

“Thank you,” Hinata smiled, still sadly, but with more happiness.

Hinata fell asleep in no time.

Kageyama watched his partner’s sleeping face and wondered.

He didn’t know whether he should be happy or not that Hinata decided not to confess. Kageyama knew that dating someone means you go out after school and everything. Hinata’s all wake hours were filled with volleyball already. So, perhaps, it’d be nice if Hinata could relax a little and have some other happy activities outside volleyball.

And the image had popped out so suddenly on Kageyama’s head; Hinata, left practice early, while a girl waited for him outside the gym. ‘I’m sorry, Kageyama,’ Hinata would breath, all sweaty, but smiling widely, ‘I’m going to spend time with my girlfriend now. We’ll practice the toss again tomorrow, okay?’

And Kageyama watched Hinata took the girl’s hand as he floated further and further from Kageyama’s reach.

But there would be no such situation, for Hinata already gave up, for his love was one-sided.

Kageyama breathed into his pillow, Hinata’s sleeping face was still in sight.

Hinata would fight for anything he wanted to fight for. But for him to give up before even trying, for the sake of other person’s happiness… Kageyama could only think that Hinata must love that person a lot. Hinata must be love that person more than he love Kageyama.

Not that it mattered, does it?

Kageyama squeezed his eyes closed, but he kept seeing Hinata swung alone in the park at night, looking up at starless dark sky, thinking about his one-sided love, about the person he had to give up, and how painful that would be for the strong-willed Hinata.

Before Kageyama fell asleep, he thought fiercely, though sleepily, _I’ll make Hinata happy the way I can make him the happiest, to compensate for the sadness he feels because he had to give that person up._

And to Hinata’s soft sniffles in his sleep, Kageyama drifted off uncomfortably to dreamland.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I should write a second part to this, like a happy KageHina ending, but perhaps this should end here.
> 
> (I'm sorry.)
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
